At first listen, I thought, maybe he was the right man to bring us forward. He was something new, something fresh. But something just wasn't right. My mother always told me I was too trusting, too willing to give people the benefit of the doubt even though they ought not have it. Even when Michelle Antoinette (oops!) Michelle Obama said that for the first time in her adult life she was proud to be an American and I was willing to look a bit past it, my mother said "f*** her".
My mother was always a good judge of character. But I digress.
The more the media (snicker) delved into Obama's background, the more there were gaping holes in the story. The pieces never quite fit. They never came together. I began thinking in terms of my job. If I were reviewing his background investigation for eligibility for employment, would he make the grade? Hate to say, but the answer was "No".
What's more is that the more I listened to him on the campaign trail the more I had a visceral reaction. Every time I he spoke I because anxious, and not in a good way. The kind of anxious I got when being in my ex-boyfriend's presence. Mind you, my ex boyfriend was a sociopath. Call it female intuition, but I felt like I was being fleeced, lied to. I felt like if I fell for this man I'd be in SERIOUS trouble.
I remembered everything I'd learned from speech and debate club and interpersonal communications class. I listened to his words, what he said and how he said it. I observed the imagery he used.
It reminded me of the song from Blues Traveler "Hook". I was getting a Citizen Kane experience. The words were all fluff. Empty promises, impossible goals, no substance. I kept that remember that even Eliza Doolittle, the Cockney guttersnipe she was, could be trained in eloquence despite knowing absolutely nothing.
The reaction people had to him was frightening. The fainting, the wanting to name their son's after him, the wanting to have his baby! Oh dear. None of these people could tell you ONE thing his political platform was built upon, couldn't even tell you who his running mate was, but was willing to trust him with every fiber of their being. Even walking out of the polls they still couldn't.
I will be the first to admit, McCain made a LOT of mistakes. And I mean a lot. But if I had to vote over again, it would still be a million times McCain. Believe me, I wanted Obama to do well. I knew that so much was riding on his performance. I was afraid that if he didn't do well, aside from our country being on the fast track into hell, that he might ruin chances for another minority to run. I don't even know if I was prepared for the kind of division he'd bring, even though I knew there would be some. Once again, just like my ex-boyfriend who managed to separate me from so many of my friends so I would be alone, I feel like so many of us have been separated from friends that we once had. After this we will be broken and it will take a long time to heal, but we will never be the same.